Welcome!
We're so glad you're here.
Before we dive in, let’s take a moment to get acquainted and guide you on how to make the most of this course—taking it in manageable chunks and pausing for meaningful discussion with our guided questions.

Conflict reveals our differences, but these differences can deepen connection when embraced. This module helps you navigate conflict, challenge assumptions about your partner, and turn differences into opportunities for growth and intimacy.

Our past shapes how we approach conflict today, often influencing us more than we realize. This module invites you to reflect on your childhood experiences with conflict, recognize the patterns you’ve carried forward, and explore how they impact your relationship now. By understanding your history, you can begin to reshape your approach to healthier conflict resolution.

Conflict isn’t about winning—it’s about reconnecting. Here we normalize perpetual issues in relationships and offer tools to manage them effectively, emphasizing repair and reconnection over resolution.

Intense conflict can trigger physiological arousal, like elevated heart rate and muscle tension, making rational dialogue difficult. This section explores how to recognize signs of emotional flooding and use self-soothing or partner-soothing techniques to de-escalate conflicts.

Some conflicts can be solved, but many stem from perpetual differences rooted in core values or beliefs. Recognizing and managing these recurring issues is key to maintaining balance in your relationship even when values clash.

Research shows that 69% of marital conflicts stem from perpetual issues, while only 31% are solvable. Couples who stay together fight for the relationship, maintaining positive sentiment and addressing differences without resorting to criticism

The criticism + defensiveness cycle occurs when criticism (attacking personality or character) triggers defensive responses like shutting down, counter-criticism, or withdrawal. Breaking the cycle involves taking responsibility, identifying valid points in criticism, and addressing the underlying needs rather than reacting defensively.

To reduce defensiveness, recognize the truth in what your partner says and take responsibility for your actions. Complaining effectively involves showing empathy, being specific about the issue, sharing your feelings, and making clear requests for change, which helps reduce defensiveness and promotes positive change.

Setting non-negotiable relationship rules, like no name-calling or threats of divorce, helps prevent destructive patterns. Repair attempts like apologies or small gestures, are essential for reconnecting after conflict.

The tennis court analogy illustrates relationship boundaries: the external boundary is around the relationship itself, while the net represents the interpersonal boundary between partners. Learn how to avoid jumping the net (forcing reconnection) or moving it (one person doing all the work) or the cycle of a pursue-withdraw dynamic may get established.

How can you tell if you’re conflict is “normal” or “healthy”? Healthy relationships are shaped by positive versus negative sentiment. Couples with positive sentiment consistently give each other the benefit of the doubt and nurture connection, while those in negative sentiment tend to focus on the worst and often don’t stay together.

Thank you for taking this course! We hope it has been beneficial in strengthening your relationship. Remember, growth is a continuous journey, and we encourage you to remain a lifelong learner as you nurture and deepen your connection with your partner.

Curious how to not scar your kids with our arguments? Show affection and kindness after conflicts to normalize resolution and build security. Discuss which topics are appropriate to address in front of them and reflect on the impact of your conflict style.

If you’re a person of faith there is one huge component to include in your conflict resolutions - forgiveness. Scriptures remind us to be kind, tender-hearted, and forgiving, with God’s presence strengthening our bond. Praying together fosters connection and intimacy in marriage.